musings on Summers 2010 cont...

DATE: November 9th, 2009
PLACE: Conference room, PDC (Prisoner Development Center), Kaala Paani
TIME: 2000 HRS

Around thirty odd young people dressed in prisoner’s attire were swiveling nervously in their chairs. There were three guards keeping an eye on every movement that was taking place in the room. They were waiting for the command from the higher authority. The situation was gloomy and the faces inside the conference room told you the story. Just then the door creaked open. None of them turned around except the three guards because they knew who had just entered. Aplihs was what she was known as within the walls of the prison. Her real name was not known to anyone and no one dared to ask her. The guards smiled at her and all they got in return was an icy cold stare. She walked up to one of the prisoners and said, "You are ordered to report immediately to the control room."

“Mr X. We received your release order a few hours back but we thought we would let you have a little more anxiety before breaking the news (Bloody sadists). You are now free.”

This was the news that I had been waiting for the last few days. I was relieved and that was the only emotion that I truly felt on hearing the news. No joy or happiness but sheer relief.

It was day 3 (fourth day) of the summer placements and I had absolutely no interest in the role that I had just accepted. But then one of my friends had urged me to show genuine interest in something that I was not really interested in. Her advice worked but then the question still remains. “What am I supposed to do during the two months?” But the silver lining is that I can hope to clear the dues of placecom from whatever little I will be receiving from the company.

I cannot desist myself from mentioning some of the “out of the box” discussions that took place during these days. Let us have a look at the best (actually the worst if you are the candidate) of the lot.

In-Dra-Mah & In-Dra-Mah (Prior to the GD):
"We as a company want only Bingo chips. Some among you are Bingos and some of you are Lays. We have designed this GD to identify the Bingos among you......". "Ahhhhh %#*^&%#@ stop it please." (That was my exact reaction.)

Ton-Ben-e (prior to the GD):
"Did any of you attend our pre-placement talk?"
Pat came the chorus reply from the group, “No, Sir.”
"Good. Have you any idea about the role that is on offer for the summer internship?"
This time the reply was, “No, Sir” followed by giggles (yeah I know we will never grow up).
"Excellent, now I can see why all of you are so interested to join the company!!!!!"

Kitt-Rec Ser-Ben-Ki (in the interview):
"We have a new God in the market. How will you sell him/her? What will be the gender of the God?"
I wished I could have replied,”Do I look like a member of RSS to you? May be VHP or Al-Qaeda?”


Please note: This is the personal view of the author and the author is not liable for any decision that you make based on the above narration. Incidents narrated above are part of a bad dream and any relation with someone living or dead is purely coincidental. Standard disclaimers apply.

musings on Summers 2010

Congrats Kasby, Rotlu, Nartaki, Tamatar, Lizzie, Satprem, Chandu, Deb and Shini. Phew!!! Finally the list is over.

Welcome to the world of summer placements @ a B school. If you thought that clearing the CAT would be the end of all your troubles, then think again and may be, for heavens sake, use something that exists between your two ears (if you can't figure this out then probably you have just empty space there).

The Parrot Idea: This Eureka moment occurred at the end of dayZ (day 0) when we returned to our rooms dead tired. The idea is very simple. Buy a parrot and place it in a cage ( sorry IIMB, pun unintended). Arrange for cards that have company names on it and another set of cards which have the names of the students on it. Prod the parrot to pick a company card. Ask the company representatives how many students they want to hire as summer interns and then again ask the parrot to pick the required number of students. Job successfully completed. No scheduling issues (ask people who were at the receiving end of it during dayZ), no biases (unless someone knows how to negotiate with a parrot) and of course no need for commando type walkie talkies which fail to function everytime you need them.

My only concern is, "Will I be able to pay the dues of placecom from my internship money?"

Just for the heck of it, I have included some excerpts from conversations which have happened during the placement week:

"The newspapers only publish what we do not tell them". Laughing at this intended joke is mandatory. Otherwise you might be risking your summer placements. Now you can all guess who said that.

"If i am unlucky and I get selected by Morgan Stanley, then what will I do?" Shitty situation, right?

"50 percent of the reason why everyone is here is summers and the rest 50 percent of the reason is the finals"

"All this is a lucky draw. At the end of this madness you will find the right company. This is just a part of the process and it has little significance in the long run. Do not worry if you are not selected". This was mentioned by the HR of firm "X" just before a candidate was going to be interviewed by the VP of that firm. A few deductions from the above quote:
1: The HR derives sadist pleasure by freaking out the already freaked out candidates (if that was possible).
2: The VP of the company has nothing to do but interview those candidates who have potentially been rejected by the HR (it is anybody's guess as what the HR was looking for).
3: The longer the run, the lesser the impact. (Be ready to live for a thousand years if you do not want to be overtly disappointed at being rejected for a job).

To be continued further......

Please note: This is the personal view of the author and the author is not liable for any decision that you make based on the above narration. Incidents narrated above are part of a bad dream and any relation to someone living, dead or yet to be born is purely coincidental. Author assumes that the readers have enough gray matter to distinguish between fiction and reality. Standard disclaimers apply.